Kiss Isn’t the Team Los Angeles Needs. It’s the One We Deserve.

Without a modern stadium, equipped for the demands of the NFL, Los Angelinos hopes for an NFL team have been suppressed for years. Sure USC has provided some pro-level thrills here and there (thanks Reggie Bush!), but nothing has come close to that NFL feel. And frankly, nothing will. So why not get behind something entirely different and more than a little crazy? Something like Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley, of the rock band KISS, creating an Arena Football expansion team and named it after their band? Too crazy? Well, that shit ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

 

image02Football is back. Enter the LA KISS.

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Just Bid Baby: The Oakland Raiders Guide to Make the Most of Free Agency

It’s March, which means, according to science, you’ve inevitably given up on your New Year’s resolutions. Would you like another chance at a fresh start? Well, you’re in luck! March 11th marks the beginning of the NFL’s fiscal year, when contracts officially come off the books and the free agent process begins.  Teams will fight to get under the salary cap, re-sign star players and strategize their use of the franchise tag. Basically, it’s the GM’s time to shine.

For the Oakland Raiders, the last few New Years have failed as spectacularly as my resolution to quit crystal meth.  Coming off back to back 4-12 seasons, and navigating contract hell, the Raiders have been at the bottom of the NFL for years now. However, with shrewd maneuvering and some patience, GM Reggie McKenzie has managed to create a favorable salary cap situation, setting the Raiders up to be one of the most intriguing teams this offseason.

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Fat-Letes: The Resurrection of Jared Lorenzen

Colin Kubichek was the biggest kid in my sixth grade class. Towering over us at 6’2’’’ and 220 lbs, the man-child known as Koobs more than earned his ‘heavyweight’ helmet sticker, and thus was barred from playing his dream position – running back. One fateful game, he got his wish in the form of a gift wrapped interception that hit him right in the numbers. Thirty seconds later he’d lumbered his way into the endzone, dragging not one, not two, but four players with him. He was so slow a couple of kids bounced off him, got back up, and chased him down only to bounce off a second time.

Kind of like how Rob Ford runs Toronto

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Well That Was Embarrassing

Wow guys. Remember way back in the day when I predicted that this Super Bowl was going to be considered the greatest of all time and that the Broncos would win a hard fought battle and solidify their legacy as the greatest offense of all time? Man things were crazy two days ago. I honestly was not planning on writing a follow up to that article because who would honestly care? But I made a lot of predictions that not only did not happen, but were the exact opposite of what actually happened.

I call this picture “Right After the 2nd Half Kickoff”

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2014: Year of the Horse

Just in case you have been in a coma for the last couple weeks and weren’t aware, we are on the cusp of the most American holiday there is: Super Bowl Sunday. A day where we embrace overindulgence of alcohol, terrible food, and celebrate the true American pastime of football. So it’s like every other day in America except we get excited for commercials. I don’t know about you, but I am extremely excited for the game this year. Primarily because I am a longtime Denver Broncos fan. Basically since I was old enough to process that Denver’s logo is a pissed off horse with a fire mane.

The old logo shot laser beams! We should all be Broncos fans.

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